Sunday, March 2, 2008

Understanding our Innermost Desires

If there is a discernable, underlying order behind life's events, it follows not our conscious desires but those that come from, or are consonant with, our deeper selves. Being aware of our innermost desires lends a handle to understanding why life is heading in the direction it's heading and at times enables us to predict the future. As I wrote in Shifting the Assemblage Point, this awareness also enhances our ability to activate the deeper, or magical, portion of the Will.

Many years ago, I was experiencing the psychological weariness of a difficult period. Deep inside, I longed for the rain to come. Somehow, I knew that the rain would provide a specific, though vague, therapeutic effect on my psyche and would help me live my life with greater ease. This was during the early Fall of 1999 in San Francisco, way before global warming really set in, when this part of the year very rarely produced rain.

Somehow one day I intuited that on an upcoming Thursday, a couple weeks later, the rain shall come. And there wasn't the shadow of a doubt that this would happen, simply because my need for it came from the very depths of my being.

That Thursday came along after ceaselessly dry weather throughout the two weeks of waiting. The sky was perfectly blue with neither cloud nor fog to be seen. Still, my confidence was not shaken, for my need for the rain was blooming in anticipation. The afternoon came along and still no sign of any clouds, though my resolve remained absolute. It was close to sunset when the dark grey clouds started floating in, like the messengers from another world. And the rain poured down as if it was the dead of winter. Scarcely a few hours went by and the sky became clear once again.

That evening I happened to be in a bar that had a television showing the local news. Their top story was how a flash storm had unpredictably hit San Francisco that evening during the normally dry Fall season.

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